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About This List Created by: komodoDate Created: 1/3/2008 Times Viewed: 627 Item Count: 86
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| 3 1. I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality: -If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly. -If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2". -If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5". -If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. -If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press. -If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer. |
| 2 2. Imagine, if you will, a world without hypothetical situations. |
| 1 3. If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. |
| 1 4. My lawyer has told me to reply "no comment" as to my current whereabouts. |
| 1 5. There's a light at every tunnel, just pray it's not a train. |
| 0 6. Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. |
| 0 7. Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me. |
| 0 8. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. |
| 0 9. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. |
| 0 10. If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one! |
| 0 11. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? |
| 0 12. The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less. |
| 0 13. I fell out of my chair. This might take a while. |
| 0 14. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. |
| 0 15. A day without sunshine is like... night. |
| 0 16. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. |
| 0 17. Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to... |
| 0 18. It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. |
| 0 19. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. |
| 0 20. I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone. |
| 0 21. I'm away(physically, not mentally). |
| 0 22. Like a fat girl in a dodgeball game.... I'm out! |
| 0 23. I am just putting this away message because everyone else is doing it. |
| 0 24. Hello. You have reached YOUR SCREEN NAME. If you wish to talk to me, IM me several hundred times until you get a response. |
| 0 25. Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have! |
| 0 26. Hey, just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I |
| 0 27. 84.1% of all statistics are made up on the spot. |
| 0 28. Please leave a message at the beep , if you don't hear the beep please leave. |
| 0 29. When all is said and done more is said than done. |
| 0 30. We are all born cold, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse. |
| 0 31. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". |
| 0 32. I'm not paranoid... but I know that you think I am. |
| 0 33. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! |
| 0 34. I'll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib. |
| 0 35. Don't you hate it when people leave away messages that don't tell where they are or when they'll be back? |
| 0 36. Hi, this is No One, and No One is here right now, so No One will be back soon. |
| 0 37. I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together. |
| 0 38. You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation. |
| 0 39. I dropped my keyboard when I find it I'll get back to you. |
| 0 40. I'm not here right now but if you scream really loud into your monitor I might be able to hear you! |
| 0 41. Help!Ican'tfindthespacebar! |
| 0 42. People that scan away messages for entertainment are pathetic. Let me know if you find any good ones. |
| 0 44. Did you know by reading this message you have wasted 6 seconds of your life? |
| 0 45. Did you hear the story about the guy who tried IMing another person and but all he got was an away message? |
| 0 46. Don't Worry!, I don't know where I am either. |
| 0 47. Only stalkers look at other people's away messages. |
| 0 48. Sitting in a corner thinking about what I have done. |
| 0 49. I'm playing hide-and-go-seek. Try to find me. |
| 0 50. Is your computer running? You better go chase it. |
| 0 51. I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe they trusted me with this). |
| 0 52. Knock-knock
Whos there?
Boo
Boo who
You don't have to cry, I'll be right back. |
| 0 53. I have been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. |
| 0 54. I just farted and it stinks so I'm going to be away from the computer until the stench goes away. |
| 0 55. My dog ran away with my keyboard and I'm out trying to catch him. |
| 0 56. This is you know who at you know where. Please leave a you know what after the you know what. I think you know how... |
| 0 57. I'm sitting right at my computer, you can IM me but I'm too lazy to respond at the present time. |
| 0 58. I'm somewhere over the rainbow. |
| 0 59. Am I here? I'm not sure. Leave a message and I might get back to you. |
| 0 60. Let's practice our right and left. You're right, I left! |
| 0 61. You've reached the Department of Redundancy Department. Please leave a message and a message and I will get back to you, and I will get back to you. Thanks, thanks again. |
| 0 62. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. |
| 0 63. Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some away messages rhyme, and some don't. |
| 0 64. If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it? |
| 0 65. Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun life, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages every day to see what they're up to (borderline stalking). So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mouse Pad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change. |
| 0 66. Everyone always has those special, thoughtful, crackup, cleaver away messages that make you laugh or think so hard you are tempted to take it and use it for your own. This is not one of them. Be back later... |
| 0 67. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you. |
| 0 68. Hey I'll be back in 5 minutes but if I'm not just read this away message again. |
| 0 69. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks. |
| 0 70. Tip of the Day: Don't waste your life sitting at the computer reading away messages. |
| 0 71. My dog thinks I'm crazy. I'll be back when I'm done arguing with him. |
| 0 72. Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. |
| 0 73. If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death. |
| 0 74. Okay, I have an idea. How about I just put up an away message, and make it seem like I have a life, even though I'm probably sitting at the computer... rocking back and forth, humming the theme to Sesame Street... |
| 0 75. I did what they say and chose the road less traveled.... Now where the heck am I? |
| 0 76. I am not here because I am engaged in a game of hide-and-go-seek with my imaginary friend. I will be back as soon as he finds me. Do not count on me being back soon, because it's hard for me to imagine him finding me because I'm such a good hider. |
| 0 77. It's not you... it's me. |
| 0 78. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... |
| 0 79. This away message is here to keep you company. |
| 0 80. I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny. |
| 0 81. When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! |
| -1 82. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. |
| -1 83. I hate short away messages. |
| -1 84. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. |
| -1 85. I smile because I have no idea what is going on. |
| -1 86. I stole this away message from ListZe.com |
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